Dawn

A year staggers
To its end,
Dragging the undone,
The might have,
And the not quite
Behind it.
A parade
Of orphaned
Possibilities.

I held fast to my plans,
My goals,
My lists.
I clenched them
In my fists,
Unwilling to let go.
Mine!
I could do it all
On my own.
Seated primly
On my flimsy throne,
I asked,
Assuming Your answer.
You spoke,
But I heard my voice.

I pushed uphill,
Tripped and stumbled.
Started over,
Even grumbled
That Your yoke wasn’t
Easy. Your burden
Wasn’t light.

But the January dawn
Reveals the weight
Of my schemes,
Haphazard dreams
I built alone.
I sang to a tune
Not my own,
Then wondered
Why I failed
To reach the notes.

My fingers uncurl.
I cannot resist
Your perfect wisdom.
So, I cannot insist
On control.
My delusions shatter.
They clatter
To the ground,
The sound
Of surrender.

I open my hands
And lift them to You.
Alpha and Omega,
Faithful and True.
I’ll never comprehend
This mystery:
That Almighty God
Would die for me.

I open my heart
And Your love rushes in.
Your Spirit reminds me
That You paid for my sin.
I am not my own
And I am not alone.

Oh, Light of the Nations!
My Savior and my King!
I want to love You most of all,
More than anything.