A Moment’s Notice:
Striving for Awareness of Each Moment,
Reflecting on the Events of the Moment
Pop
quiz: Your best friend calls to say
he/she has gotten a tattoo. Your first
reaction is:
A. "Cool!”
B.“What were you thinking?”
Okay, let’s
see how everyone answered. Who chose
"A"? Well, that’s interesting---I was expecting
a pack of Hell’s Angels, and instead I see choir members and schoolteachers.
Now who
chose "B"? Hmm, just a couple. I see that growly guy who turns out his
lights on Halloween and someone who looks like the girl who kicked me off the
playground merry-go-round in first grade.
Let’s try
something different. How many of you
would choose “B” if your best friend in the whole world had chosen to do
something temporary, like a wacky hair color or an unfortunate choice of
pants? Let’s call it option “C”: “I’m thinking, ‘What were you thinking?’ but
there’s no way I’m saying that.” May I
see a show of hands?
Uh huh, I thought
so.
I sense a
river of ink is starting to move across our world, or at least my small portion
of it. It suppose it would be more
accurate to say that while sometimes the ink is a river, visible to all, at
other times it’s an aquifer, flowing underground, out of sight.
I’m a
curious soul, intrigued by activities alien to my own experience. Getting a tattoo definitely falls in that
category. Growing up in a small South
Carolina town in the ‘60s and ‘70s I only remember seeing tattoos on real live
people---not in movies about sailors or crazed convicts on the loose ---on the
arms of a couple who ran a clothing store in town. The numbers were engraved on their forearms,
courtesy of the Third Reich.
So, the idea
of getting a tattoo never even bounced against the fringes of my adolescent
consciousness. You might as well have
asked me if I had ever considered moving to India to study with a guru. I dreamed about dancing on “American
Bandstand,” grooving in the spotlight to the latest song by the Jackson 5. (Younger readers, you’re now excused to visit
Google to look up those references.
We’ll wait for you.)
Tattoos
didn’t register on my adult brain until around 20 years ago, when one of my husband’s
cousins said her son had announced he was getting one. I remember thinking, “Hepatitis!” and shook
my head in sympathy with the distressed mother.
In recent
years I’ve learned that quite a few of my acquaintances and friends have adorned
themselves with designs declaring their faith, their family ties, and/or their
creative flair. When a friend recently
took a seat in a tattoo parlor and returned to work with a colorful design
etched around her forearm my curiosity boiled over. I decided to do an informal survey on
Facebook.
I asked my
friends with tattoos these questions: Why
did you decide to get a tattoo? Was it something you had wanted for a long time
or was it an impulsive decision? Is the design symbolic or simply cool? Is your tattoo
visible to the general public? Do you have more than one tattoo? Any regrets?
Five friends
responded, so we’re not talking about an exhaustive study here. Still, I found their answers illuminating,
and I wonder if they represent some common threads among tattoo wearers.
The first, most
important question: “Why?” B explained
her decision this way: “I have four tattoos.
The motivation for my first tattoo was half teenage rebellion, half just
for me…Each tattoo has a personal meaning to me…a story. I have never walked in and picked something
off the wall. My tattoos are symbolic of
my faith, my marriage, and my children.”
A tattoo as
an outward sign of an inner commitment or struggle resonated with other women
as well. M answered that she got her
tattoos while going through therapy. “I have two red roses. One is a bud and one is a full bloomed
rose. The bud is symbolic of how
‘closed’ I felt when I started therapy and the full bloomed rose represents
what I felt was going on inside of me during.” A said
her two tattoos have “deep spiritual and personal meanings” for her and she
waited “quite a while” before she got them.
The two guys
who responded showed their sensitive side as well. Although G said he finds humor in some
responses to his tattoos he noted that they represent important aspects of his
life. “I can tell you where I got each
one and who I was with as well as what they represent. Everything from my
faith, to my military service to my wife, boys and friends. “ He added that his tattoos had prompted
conversations “with people that may otherwise not have talked with me.”
C chose a religious
theme. “Designed it myself. Not visible to public...planned that way.
Very specific meaning. Michael the
Archangel.”
Do tattoo
artists offer volume discounts? I ask
because four of my five respondents have multiple tattoos and I’ve observed that
trend in the public square as well. G
said he wasn’t sure why he started getting tattoos, “but once you get one, you
want to get more.” M said she’d like to
get another, as did the friend whose tattoo prompted this post.
On to the
question of show-and-tell---or not.
Although none of my friends expressed regret about their tattoos, some
mentioned covering them with clothing from time to time. A said hers are not usually visible because
of her fashion choices, and one of B’s is always hidden from view.
Here’s where
I start to chime in: What’s the point of
having a tattoo no one ever sees? If
it’s a statement to the world, shouldn’t the world get the chance to take it
in? And if it’s a personal statement, an
exclamation point to your beliefs or experiences, how effective can it be if
you never see it without the aid of mirrors and some yoga-like moves?
Then again,
maybe seeing the tattoo isn’t the most important thing. Maybe significance really lies in the choice
to endure a certain amount of pain in order to etch a permanent message into
your very skin. Maybe just knowing it’s
there is enough.
B summed up
the tattoo trend nicely: “There is a generational stereotype that has shifted.
Older generations associate tattoos with drugs, alcohol, and a wild lifestyle.
Younger generations view tattoos as an extension of self- expression... a
permanent accessory that has a story.”
The term
“permanent accessory” jumped out at me.
I have varying requirements for accessories, but I have never wanted
them to be permanent. One of the best
things about fashion is that it’s perfectly fine to be fickle. Thank goodness I don’t have to go through the
rest of my life wearing my 1983 eyeglasses with the saucer-sized lenses.
I can’t
disagree with B on the biases “older generations” have when it comes to
tattoos. If I went to a new doctor and
noticed he had a dragon writhing around his neck, a peace symbol on one hand
and a dove on the other I’d immediately wonder if I were in the presence of an
imposter. Even if he demonstrated
impressive diagnostic skills I’d always wonder what else was going on in his mind,
what messages he wanted his tattoos to send.
After
spending several days with this topic I have concluded that tattoos aren’t
inherently bad, although I did learn that tattoos are taboo for those of the
Jewish faith. (Visit hillel.org for some
interesting information.) But I’m more
certain than ever that they’re not for me.
Too many decisions: Whether to
reveal or remain hidden, to have a single tattoo or a gallery, to make this irrevocable
design choice or that one. However, I have resolved to ask friends with
interesting tattoos a single question: “What
were you thinking?” No exclamation
points, no condemnation, just curiosity.
